OK, I will admit that this was an experiment. I wanted to know if I could watch “Neon Genesis Evangelion 1.11: You Are (Not) Alone” with little to no knowledge of it, as I have not seen the TV series and know only what I have picked up over the years. Sure, I would be the first to admit that it makes little to no sense for me to watch a giant fighting robot movie, as most of the people who read my reviews are fully aware of my dislike of giant fighting robot shows (and having ripped a few of them apart here), but, I was at Anime Expo 2013 and the opportunity presented itself, so I was not going to let this slide past.

Since I had seen practically every other movie or show that was considered a landmark or major player in the anime game (“Akira”, “One Piece”, “Bleach”, “DBZ”, “Naruto”) and people were losing their minds over this particular offering, I felt that I should, at the very least, make a visit to see what all the noise was about. For me, it was much ado about nothing.

For those nine other people in the world who have never seen or heard of the show, it is the year 2015. Tokyo 3 stands, but most of the world’s population was destroyed after the Second Impact. Strange space beings, called Angels (and how ironic is that. Why not call them Devils? Anyone? Nope? I guess they all got destroyed in the Second Impact) are bent on the total, complete and thorough annihilation of the human race. The only thing that stands in their way is EVAs, the world’s answer to these alien invaders.

Pressed into action is Shinji Akari (that rather lost individual up there). Well, things are not going too well for him. Mom is dead, Dad is emotionally distant (and runs NERV, the defense organization formed to combat these monsters) and the only other person he can rely on, Rei Ayanami (that unconscious form up there) is pretty banged up and they are kept apart while she tries to recover. Part of the problem is that Akari believes to the deepest core of his personality that he is not the right person for this job. He may have the ability, but he lacks the will and desire to fully commit to the project and since he is really the last, only, best hope to save the world, he folds up like a cheap card table under the pressure.

He trains his talents, but no one in charge seems to care about his emotional make-up. Just jam him in Eva 01 and send him out. He’ll find it within himself to man up. I have also learned that if you do something to impress another person, you will fail on all counts. He doesn’t know that yet.

Akari spends huge gobs of time in this movie feeling sorry for himself and whining on constantly. If he could bottle that whine, he could outstrip Gallo! I have never met such a miserable person in any movie, book or show as hapless, helpless and hopeless as this one. Why does no one else see it? Anyone? Nope? I guess they all got destroyed in the Second Impact.

Another aspect of the film that bothered me was the Angels. The ‘intelligence’ behind them seems to work like this:

“Send down an Angel.”
“Angel sent”
[Insert Smurfs theme here]
“That Angel got their butt handed to them.”
“Send down another Angel.”
“Angel sent.”
[Insert Smurfs theme here]
“That Angel got their butt handed to them.”
“Send down another Angel.”
“Angel sent.”
[Insert Smurfs theme here]
“That Angel got their butt handed to them.”
“Send down another Angel.”
“Angel sent.”
[Insert Smurfs theme here]
“That Angel got their butt handed to them.”

Hey! When are you going to decide not to send them down in numeric order? Perhaps it may be time to send out Angel 10 when you got surprised during the first two or three. Maybe send out two or three at the same time? Anyone? Nope? I guess they all got destroyed in the Second Impact.

Now, I will give credit where it is due. This is a great looking film. The grand backgrounds are magnificent in both scope and reach and to see Tokyo 3 either rise from the ground or descend into the depths is animation at its finest. The fight sequences (minus the emotional hand-wringing) are choreographed well and the workings of NERV are plausible in their world. It’s just that I didn’t care about anyone or anything.

Would have seeing the series made a difference? Perhaps. I do know that when I saw the “Ghost in the Shell” movie, I was confused, but when I grabbed the series, things made much more sense to me and I grasped the concept. But even for a newbie, I should be able to watch the film and not have to have a huge amount of background dispensed to enjoy it, not that the movie gave much in the way of background. More like on a need-to-know basis.

Every film has, for me, a crux point. This is a moment that defines the film in how it relates to me. That point occurs when Akari goes to school and get beaten up by Toji Suzuhara, whom he feels caused Toji’s sister to get injured. OK, if this guy is the hopes and dreams and wishes and desires and ambitions and goals of humanity, why allow him to get injured? In fact, one of his handlers watches this, but reports back that ‘he wasn’t in any real danger.’ What? What kind of tough love is this? Isn’t anyone going to step in on this? Anyone? Nope? I guess they all got destroyed in the Second Impact.

It just felt a lot was done just in the movie just to show it could be done, but, at the end of the day, I really could not get behind this film. I did have an excellent opportunity to grab “2.22: You Can (Not) Advance”, but I agreed with the title and went home, choosing not to advance.

I give this 2 ½ stars out of four.

And remember, it’s first run until you’ve seen it. I survived the Second Impact and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.